Intoxication
by Vontar
Summary: Or, alternatively, the "Folly of a Trollhunter". Jim realizes the effects of putting Gunmar's eye in the Amulet of Daylight as he finds his situation in the Darklands deteriorating.


Gunmar's eye was quite something.

I had felt stronger, so much stronger. The aura my armor gave off, with the eye in the amulet, was enriching, empowering, and enthralling. It strengthened my body, giving me power where my thin, gangly form had none before. I could've take on a troll easily. Angor Rot would've been nothing against what I could do now; he would've fallen easily against my might – no, Gunmar would fall easily against my might. The power he unknowingly gave me would spell his doom.

The more subtle effects of the eye were such that I did not notice until it was nearly too late.

Perhaps it fed on my fear and anger. It might have driven me to rashness, or it might simply have amplified what was already there. Regardless, I lost sight of the plan, and I forgot Blinky's instruction, the first rule he drilled into me: always be afraid. I stopped being afraid. This was different from the totem Draal had given me. Whereas that got rid of my fear completely, the eye simply… nudged it a little, if that were the proper phrase. My confidence grew while my fear shrank, and it had simultaneously increased my anger and need for vengeance. I was not fearless, but I felt less fear, and more desire. A healthy dose of overconfidence, so to speak, with continuous effect over time took hold of me. Things previously barely out of reach were now within my grasp, or so I thought. In reality, it simply took my fear of losing those I cared for, my desire to become stronger, and the need for vengeance of those I lost and amplified them to the point where it took over my thoughts and decision-making ability.

The first time I felt true fear after putting in the eye was when a horde of goblins caught up with me. Navigating this unknown, treacherous territory was dangerous enough, and after what seemed to be a never-ending swarm of creatures tore for my flesh, I truly feared for my life, that I had made a stupid decision entering without the preparation, support, and help of my friends. I barely escaped, after caving in a tunnel. It was at this point when I realized that I had not prepared for this. I had no food, no water, and no way back, so I did the only thing I could and moved on forward to find baby Enrique and slay Gunmar.

Fast forward a bit, and I was near what passes as a nursery in the Darklands. The sound of babies laughing and crying filled the chamber from their elevated cribs. This would be where I could find Enrique and fulfill my promise to Claire. I was a third of the way there (the other two-thirds consisted of finding Enrique and getting back home). Unfortunately, things went really south from there. Before I could commence my search, I was given a taste of why putting Gunmar's eye in the Amulet of Daylight was the worst thing I've done in my life.

"Hero," drawled out a booming, powerful voice. It was like nothing I had ever heard. Oppressive, the voice roiled me to my core, and I felt a lead weight sink in my stomach as my arms lost strength and my knees buckled. It took all of my effort to stand, and the Sword of Daylight simply slipped from my hands to impale the cursed earth below. This power, this presence, it could only be…

"Trollhunter, I have awaited you," Gunmar proclaimed, his voice alone enough to blow past through me in waves. "You came here to find and kill me? You have come here to die. And before that, I will have you suffer the pain of a thousand deaths, force you to watch your friends suffer those pains, and then ensure that you understand the true depths of your folly before I allow you to die."

I screamed. Daylight fled from me as my armor disappeared and I ran as fast as I could. I couldn't even see Gunmar, had no idea of knowing where he was or whether he knew exactly where I was, but I ran, away from that voice and from him.

That is how I now find myself curled up in a small, dark cave. His voice is long gone, but tremors still shake my body. Utter fear. Complete desperation. That is what I experience now. I still remember Claire's face as she ran up to the door of the vault, her big beautiful eyes wide, that expression of disbelief that I was leaving and abandoning them to throw my life away alone. I laugh. I also remember how confident I was that Gunmar was going to die, that I wasn't going to throw my life away. Now I'm too afraid to even hear his voice.

I open up the Amulet of Daylight, which glowed red with the corruption of Gunmar's eye. Evidently, it was not the third triumbric stone – it couldn't be. I slowly take out the blue gem, and the Amulet itself returns to its natural blue color. Idly, I think how strange it is for a blue stone to turn a blue amulet red.

Should I throw it away? No. I pocket the gem. Disregarding the possibility that it may empower Gunmar should he find it, perhaps I could find something else that would negate the harmful effects of the eye while I strive to figure out its use.

I hug my knees close to my chest as I begin to feel the cold of the Darklands now that my confidence and adrenaline is gone. The Amulet's light does little to warm me as the winds blow and my soul grows cold with the fear of my potentially fatal error. My only hope is that back in Trollmarket, Claire, Toby, Blinky, and Draal are working on a method to get to the Darklands and bring me back. That's the only chance I have for survival in this unnatural realm.

I close my eyes to my knees, exhaustion and sleep beginning to overtake me. I remember, again, Claire's expression of betrayal that had flitted across her face before the vault doors closed.

 _Claire, forgive me…_


End file.
